4 posts tagged “home”

Now that I am managing to stay awake most days without taking a nap I am starting to find the energy and time to pay attention to my many and varied blog sort places.  I always loved Vox.  Soooo pretty. 
And also, I love feeds.  I've been looking into those over the last few days, especially since I am using Twitter again, as well as LJ, and various others (vague handwave).  I have some time, not infinite time.  Still.
Slowly looking to go back to work.  Don't have to yet, and I may not be quite ready, but I am looking at what's available.  Sending my CV a few places, talking to people.  Nothing serious.  Mostly I'm trying to get back into the habit of doing it.  And, hopefully, I don't put myself back in bed for another year.

On another note, northern England is so damned beautiful.  Sometimes in the winter I forget that.  And then there are days like today, and I'm stunned all over again, and remember why I came home.

So I've been home for about two weeks now, and have barely stopped to breathe since.  This weekend I sort of went on strike, or just stopped being able to do anything, and have mostly laid on the couch and watched telly and movies since Saturday.  I feel a bit better, but still tired.  
Daughter has been in school for a week now, which she likes, and that's good.  Still waiting to hear back about my son's school, but no real worries there.  
Should have the boy set up with his doctor in a week, and he's already said he would refill the prescriptions with no problem, and that's all that I'm concerned about, really.
Actually, the hardest part is getting used to not having my mac.  I'm still trying to cope with that, and with the slightly different configuration of UK keyboards.  I miss my mac.  I really do.  The sooner I get my naturalisation sorted out, the sooner I can go to work, and save up to buy myself a new laptop.  
But I'm enjoying being here.  Thank you to everyone who supported me in this, because you helped me make a difficult decision; but I am so happy to have done it, and to be here.  No idea when I will update again.  Take care, until then. 

Or so I was told by our lovely Internet Jesus, Mr Ellis.  And it made a huge impact on me, just that one sentance. 
So I bought three tickets to England a week ago, because it's time for me to go home.  And I'm terrified, a nervous wreck, because of my anxiety and panic disorders, and because HELLO! a week to pack and move!
I've been freaking out since my last day of work, which was Wednesday, and I was taking the exit survey.  What if it doesn't work out?  What if I fail and screw everything up?  What if it works out?  What will I do then?  Seriously, what the fuck am I doing?
I leave on Monday.  There's no turning back.  Okay, there is, I don't have to go, but then I will be out the cost of the tickets, plus I'll have to find a new job, a place to live, etc, and if I'm going to do that, I may as well just shut the hell up and go do it in England, right? *hides in a dark corner*
I'll Twitter or post here to say I've arrived safely, but after that I might not be posting for a while.  I'm going to sleep for a week, then reacquaint myself with Rochdale.  Enroll the kids in school.  Cry a lot, I imagine.  Whatever happens, I was never taught how to give up, or give in, so here I go.

I bought my tickets to go home. 
I leave in a week.  On the 12th.  Next Monday morning I will be home.

I feel sick, and giddy.  I don't know what else to say.